*sigh* This past two weeks has truly sucked. Even my own hamster refuses my presence. LIKE WHAT THE HELL!! If even animals don't like me then I'm at the lowest of the low. I swear I have been sick over and over again. I'm doing stuff I used to before every single day.

I can actually tell you how it feels like to smile on the outside and fall apart inside. I call it my business smile. I haven't eaten properly in days, I haven't slept properly in weeks. I'm always so angry all the time. I feel like just ending it all now.

I'm not strong enough anymore. Too many things have happened over the past two weeks. I can't take it all. I know I should rise up from all these shit and fuck ups but I can't. I can't find a reason to rise up, a purpose, a goal. I'm weak, I'm nothing.

Yesterday was the lowest point I've had so far. Long story short, I screwed up and now I'm nothing more than a mistake to my mom. Big whoop. What's new? *sigh*

I really hope I can cheer myself up soon. It's so depressing to keep posting such depressing posts. *BIG sigh*

Come on, karma do your job! I've done alot of bad things in my life that's enough to wipe off the face of the planet!