Wednesday, January 21, 2009 ~ 8:39 PM
my sweetest mistake.
i told myself i wasn't going to cry anymore...i told myself i wasn't going to get hurt...
i told myself i was going to smile and pretend like nothing's happened.
but then why did i break down today?
seeing him in the field playing softball brought so much memories and along wiht it, so much pain to me...
seeing him made me want to run towards him and hug him, never letting go.apologize over and over again.
i'm so stupid.
i was the one who initiated the breakup...
then why am i the only one hurting so much?
seeing him smile everyday makes me wish i wasn't able to see anything...
wish i wasn't able to feel anything...
it's ironic actually.
i thought that since he's like my umpteenth boyfriend, i won't be hurt that much.
turns out it hurts much much more...*sigh* it's so fucking funny the way i'm hurting like this...
it's like everywhere i turn to, it's always about love.
even songs are just all about him...
i wish i can throw away all those songs i was able to make because of him but knowing the reason for those words and everything begins to hurt.GAWD.it hurts.
really really hurts.
seeing him and knowing that something happened between us...
me being stuck while he seems to have moved on.*sigh*
LOVE SERIOUSLY IS THE SLOWEST FORM OF SUICIDE.i wish i can think about something that won't lead to him...
*sigh* think about what?
BLOOD. DEATH. ETERNAL DAMNATION?
oh yeah.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED DAUGHTER GRACE!!!
yay!!
old old girl. yet you never grow!!
weeehehehehe..
*sigh* well that cheered me up a bit.
people have been really considerate of me nowadays
like tweet, eric, holly.
what am i?
a walking charity case?
*sigh* i'm not being mean.
it's just that it feels weird when people act nice around me.
i just want everything to be back to normal.
that way i can forget and move on faster.
curse me all you want.
don't be so lenient when you're with me.
don't act like i'm gonna break down and crumble to pieces if ever i talk about yi zhong.maybe i can't talk about him right now but...
*sigh*
JUST ACT LIKE ERN.he still calls me small-brained.he even match makes me to AHEM. *ern and my little secret! kekekeke*
thanks ern.
*sigh*
really feel cheered up now.
i still love yi zong so much it hurts..
damn. i'm so hung up.
shoutout:
THINKING OF YOU MAKES ME HAPPY AND SAD.
