Humanimal. =]

Saturday, January 3, 2009 ~ 5:55 PM

my sweetest mistake.

ok. ayt!!

currently watching JUNO

it's like the best movie man!

IT'S A TOTAL MUST WATCH.

bleh.

finished my AMaths homework and can you believe it?!

I FINISHED IT ALL BY MYSELF!!

loller! that's a huge "hoorah" for me.

well, phone's still not working so i guess i'll buy one of those prepaid sim cards to be able to sms people.

*sigh* as if anybody will reply to all my smses

WHATEVER.

seriously bored to death man.

wanting to play that hotel626 game but it scared the shit out of me the last time i played it.

whatever *again*

really typing really fast right now.

can't seem to control my hand from shaking and what-not

been feeling really really weird lately...

*sigh*

so anyway really seriously missing him...

it's been like what? 2 weeks and 6 days since i last talked to him?

but who's counting???

i mean like the nearest i have been to him these past few days was what? a meter away from him.

ok i saw him yesterday.

ok maybe it was my fault for not taking the initiative to start a conversation with him yesterday but i didn't know how to even start...

it seemed like he didn't want to talk to me...

i just- ARGH!

i just feel so shitty man.

i know i'm being paranoid but i don't know why.

maybe it's because i have this inferiority complex.

i just don't have enough confidence in myself

i know that he loves me but a part of me asks until what point?

i know that i'm really really happy being with him but for some odd reason there's this voice telling me all the bad things that i don't want to hear.

i don't know...

i'm just scared shitless about everything.

i'm scared that one day he'll wake up and realize that he doesn't love me anymore.

i'm scared that he'll look at me and ask himself why he fell in love with me when i'm not that special.

i'm scared that one day, he'll disappear...

i'm scared that one day i have no choice but to let him go.

it's just that i love him so so much.

but i don't know how exactly does he feel...

i just love him alot.

maybe if he knew how i truly felt he'd freak out and believe that i'm some ambiguous person...

i just don't want him to think badly of me...

i want to talk to him again and just be able to smile...

it's different whenever i talk to him and smile from when i talk to my friends and smile.

it's a different kind of cheerful countenance...

*sigh*

i wish he could read this post.

coz these are just some things that i don't have the courage to tell him, or anyone for that matter.

word of the day: ABASHED- ashamed or embarrassed; disconcerted

i wish that one day i'd have the courage to walk up to him and say, "i love you"

shoutout: THERE ARE FEELINGS THAT I CANNOT CONVEY INTO WORDS. LIKE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.