alright! haven't updated for quite a while

there wasn't much to say coz i don't think there was absolutely anything interesting that happened this week.

well DADDY'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and now i have a fridge filled with chocs!!!!!!!!!

blah.

it's really fun to wake up in the morning and be able to eat breakfast.

HEHEHE.

well i had a fever on wednesday then i forced myself to come to school on thursday.

PE just eventually made it worse.

freak man. WHO THE HELL HAS PE IN 3.30 IN THE AFTERNOON?!!

worse still we had to play rugby, meaning running around the field.

just randomly ran here and there.

saw HIM.

pretended to be happy and all that crap.

worked though.

then went to parkway to meet holly, bianda and christle to go to terminal 1 to send jody off.

then blah blah blah... JODY FLEW TO AUSTRALIA...

*sigh* gonna miss her alot.

then forced myself to come to school today because of that friggin chemistry test.

once again nothing much happened today.

came home then fell asleep.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

*sigh*

the funny thing about this week was I DREAMT ABOUT NITIPAT TWO TIMES!!! last night and this afternoon!!!!

FREAK MAN!

of all the people to dream about why him?

BLEHHH

i'm starting to feel really really numb nowadays.

like it's so easy to plaster a smile on my face and effortlessly execute such a perfect laugh.

I'M A LIAR.

i con people to think i'm fine when i'm not.

it still hurts to see him.

to see him smile.

see him talk to other people.

to see him effortlessly forgetting all about me...

*sigh*

when will i ever learn?

all my boyfriends in 2008 broke me in their own way.

why did i think yi zhong would be any different?

*sigh*

this just proves to show that i have horrible judgement of character.

funny ain't it?

shoutout: SOMETIMES GOODBYE IS A SECOND CHANCE

well, today was like the most fun day i've had in ages!!!

when i woke up today, i had an urge to wear a skirt for church.

so yeah, unbelievably, i did wear a skirt.

just as i expected, most of the people in youth were a bit sympathethic to me.

i appreciated it and in turn, my mood was kinda uplifted.

so blah.

youth ended.

then had lunch with shanice, rachel, grace, fabian, jensen, nicholas, jerold, tim chu then the three new boys. *unfortunately i can only remember terence. hehehe. still need to get to know them better.*

lunch was freakin fun man.

shanice was like pairing up grace and terence *who by the way looks a lot like ronald lee and kelvin kang COMBINED! more on the kelvin side though. ONLY MUCH MUCH HOTTER!*

hehehe. terence's new name: MICKEY.

hahaha.

so yeah we talked about the weirdest things man.

OH YAY! I REMEMBER THE TWO OTHER BOYS! nicholas and asyraf!!

i just realized that most of the YONGs have the same name as other people *except jerold. his name's unique*

ok back to the story.

we teased fabian that he watches porn.

HE DIDN'T DENY ANY OF THE ACCUSATIONS THOUGH!!!!

hohoho. behind closed doors ah!

lol.

then we walked around tm and cs somemore.

i asked of we could go to the la senza shop coz i wanted to see something and guess what!

THE BOYS AGREED.

wth right?! stupid horny boys.

haha. so on the way there grace kicked me for a reason i forgot so i decided to kick her also.

but in the process, she also tried to kick me so our legs got entangled and she lost her balance and she pulled me along!!!

hahaha. we seriously skidded on the floor of tm man! *the place near they sell those swatch watches*

we laughed like hell!!!!

ohmygod... we can never show our faces in tampines mall again.

HAHAHA.

so after la senza, we went to the arcade.

nothing much happened in the arcade so i shan't talk about it.

anyway we went to ntuc afterwards coz shanice had to buy something.

and that something is 5 LOAVES OF BREAD.

ME: hahah. you buy so much bread for what? you going war is it?!!

hehehe.

then afterwards talked to asyraf about guitars and blah. quite fun quite fun.

then they all queued up to pay the groceries but since we queued also, the line looked freakin long.

then i stood at the stands where there was a lot of diapers there.

then talked to asyraf again.

nicholas *the new boy*: hahaha. you want what baby ah?
asyraf: NO LAH!
nicholas: coz you keep saying "i want... i want..." then you touch the diapers!!

-_____-

then went to yamaha where the service there SUCKS!!!!

idiots.

oh yeah! speaking of idiots i remembered something jensen told me, terence and jerold during youth.

JENSEN: yesterday right was jun wei's barbecue. then i wanted to go. so i took a cab then i showed the driver the place. then i went to costa sands resort at pasir ris then i showed the girl the place then she said "OH THIS IS IN EAST COAST PARK!" so i took another cab to east coast park then had to pay $16. then i showed the person the place then he said "OH THIS IS IN DOWNTOWN EAST!!!"

the three of us laughed hysterically man!!!!

OK! BACK TO THE MALL! *hehehe. i got side-tracked.*

so after yamaha we had no idea where else to go so we all went home.

IT WAS SO FUN MAN.

i don't know how many times i laughed out loud today.

OH YEAH!!! I SAW BENSON!!!

the new boys are quite friendly.

they even bother to bully me as well *especially asyraf*

so went home blah.

fell asleep.

hehehe.

it was really fun man.

this was the exact thing that i needed to lift my mood up.

THANKS TO ALL OF Y'ALL FOR MAKING ME SO HAPPY TODAY.

wahahaha.

hopefully i'll have more days like this.

then maybe, i can wake up again in the morning and not regret opening my eyes.

shoutout: YOUTH GROUP IS FILLED WITH HOT GUYS. YEAH!!

WTF. IT'S 2.19 AM AND I CANNOT SLEEP A WINK.

ohmygod.

bleh.

i suddenly had an urge not to go for youth later.

there's like an image in my mind where everybody'll be like "jem how ya been holding up?" and all that crap.

i'm not saying that i don't appreciate people's concern.

it's just that I'D RATHER BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.

everybody keeps telling me to forget him.

SORRY. I CAN'T.

it might be easy for you but it's not fucking easy for me.

i'm not you so i can't just fall in and out of love in lightning speed.

*i'm not mentioning any names coz frankly, i forgot their names. why bother remembering?*

today was such a kick-ass day.

i totally cleaned my room man.

I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA MY ROOM WAS SUCH A HEALTH HAZARD TO ME.

maybe it's the reason i haven't been feeling well lately.

so yeah i cleaned it and i finally found the button of my skirt!

hehehe.

now i can wear it again! XP!

now i can't stop sneezing.

so after that i took a nice long bath and weighed myself.

guess what!!

in addition to the 5 kg i lost, i lost 3 kg more!!!

yay!! 1 kg more left!!

hoorah to unsual diets.

the magic of not consuming anything but green tea.

wahahaha.

this day *yesterday* is like the first day i've ever laughed so hard in days.

i was laughing so hard at my mom when we were going home that i teared up.

she had this really really sudden urge to pee and me and my brother were making her laugh so hard that she always had to stop to laugh.

bleh.

i'm hoping that today will be an improvement.

i want to smile again.

not another fake smile.

just a smile smile.

*sigh*

now talking to nitipat on msn.

haaa.. idiot.

bleh.

he's my idiot.

hahahaha.

shoutout: I FALL TO PIECES NOW.

*sigh*

it's finally friday...

i won't go to school till wednesday.

*sigh*

oh yeah. my dad's coming home on tuesday...

wee...

this week has been the most tiring week i've had.

physically, mentally and emotionally.

my a-maths and physics test were in two consecutive days.

seriously didn't know which one i should've concentrated on.

fortunately it's already done.

i can't handle thinking anymore...

well of course the reason for me being emotionally tired is because of yi zhong.

i still can't seem to let him go.

we met at the stairs thursday morning.

he looked at me with- i don't know- sad eyes.

it pained me so much to see him look at me like that.

i'm so tired.

i'm tired of crying myself to sleep.

i'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night and cry because just had another dream about him.

i want to get rid of the pain but i'm scared that by getting rid of it, i'll be erasing memories of him.

tell me why it's so hard to forget?

i really don't know what to do anymore...

it hurts to see him but i can't stop looking for him...

actually it's quite tiring to keep smiling.

ray told me the other day "ALAM MO, PAREHO KAYO NI JARAH. PALAGI KAYONG NAKANGITI PERO ANG DAMI-DAMI NIYONG PROBLEMA. PALAGI KAYONG NAKANGITI PERO NASASAKTAN PALA KAYO." *you know, you and jarah are the same. you always keep smiling but you ahve a lot of problems. you always smile but you're actually hurting.*

i think that the only people who seriously care about me are tweet and poch.

*sigh*

wish i wasn't able to see or feel anything anymore...

everybody seems to hypocritic around me.

acting all nice around me.

FUCK YOU ALL.

just because i'm broken doesn't mean i'm dumb.

stop acting like you like me.

i know you hate me.

most of the people around me are really pissing me off.

FUCK OFF. LEAVE ME ALONE.

let me break in peace.

i don't need all you hypocrites.

i only want him...

shoutout: I WILL END THIS.

i told myself i wasn't going to cry anymore...

i told myself i wasn't going to get hurt...

i told myself i was going to smile and pretend like nothing's happened.

but then why did i break down today?

seeing him in the field playing softball brought so much memories and along wiht it, so much pain to me...

seeing him made me want to run towards him and hug him, never letting go.

apologize over and over again.

i'm so stupid.

i was the one who initiated the breakup...

then why am i the only one hurting so much?

seeing him smile everyday makes me wish i wasn't able to see anything...

wish i wasn't able to feel anything...

it's ironic actually.

i thought that since he's like my umpteenth boyfriend, i won't be hurt that much.

turns out it hurts much much more...

*sigh* it's so fucking funny the way i'm hurting like this...

it's like everywhere i turn to, it's always about love.

even songs are just all about him...

i wish i can throw away all those songs i was able to make because of him but knowing the reason for those words and everything begins to hurt.

GAWD.

it hurts.

really really hurts.

seeing him and knowing that something happened between us...

me being stuck while he seems to have moved on.

*sigh* LOVE SERIOUSLY IS THE SLOWEST FORM OF SUICIDE.

i wish i can think about something that won't lead to him...

*sigh* think about what?

BLOOD. DEATH. ETERNAL DAMNATION?

oh yeah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED DAUGHTER GRACE!!!

yay!!

old old girl. yet you never grow!!

weeehehehehe..

*sigh* well that cheered me up a bit.

people have been really considerate of me nowadays

like tweet, eric, holly.

what am i?

a walking charity case?

*sigh* i'm not being mean.

it's just that it feels weird when people act nice around me.

i just want everything to be back to normal.

that way i can forget and move on faster.

curse me all you want.

don't be so lenient when you're with me.

don't act like i'm gonna break down and crumble to pieces if ever i talk about yi zhong.

maybe i can't talk about him right now but...

*sigh* JUST ACT LIKE ERN.

he still calls me small-brained.

he even match makes me to AHEM. *ern and my little secret! kekekeke*

thanks ern.

*sigh*

really feel cheered up now.

i still love yi zong so much it hurts..

damn. i'm so hung up.

shoutout: THINKING OF YOU MAKES ME HAPPY AND SAD.

OMFG! it's monday again.

bleh.

well today went to school early blah blah coz of that crappy japanese shit thing.

sang for choir. SCREWED UP.

anyway thanks to poch and ming who were like comforting me and stuff.

DON'T WORRY BABES! I'M FINE. i was able to smile the whole day right?

thanks to holly too who was like the only one who asked me how i've been holding up

*sigh*

fortunately for me i didn't see much him today.

it would've made things harder for me.

OK BLAH. TOPIC DRIFTING OFF TO THE PAINFUL SIDE OF THINGS.

i don't want to live my life in agony and pain.

so i'm going to get back on my feet again and just live normally i guess...

hopefully i'll be able to date again someday. SOMEDAY.

ok blah. enough about me.

today's chemistry was uber fun man!

coz we had experiments and blah.

Aim: To determine the reactivity of metals. *or something like that*

so yeah, we were like mixing stuff like bromine + sodium chloride.

it was fun seeing the results.

so cool seeing it change colour.

the bad thing about it was i splattered some iodine on my uniform.

AND I CAN'T TAKE IT OFF.

so after chemistry went to choir practice.

SERIOUSLY, CAN'T WAIT TO RETIRE FROM CHOIR!.

so went home with ern and eugene- who was, in fact, super horny at the moment and ern was blaming me for it.

was teasing eugene about the watch the belonged to someone he knew.

IT LOOKED SO GAY ON HIM.

so yeah. ern was teasing me saying all of random guy's names.

before i left school i looked at the softball players and i saw him.

there was a pang of pain that swept right through me but thanks to ern i was able to erase the pain.

shoutout: THERE'S NEVER A RIGHT TIME OR PLACE TO FALL IN LOVE.

well...

sad to say but we've moved on with our lives.

yup.

it's finally ended.

i'm sad but not that sad.

i guess i was kind of expecting it to happen.

i cried for a while before it happened but when it did happen, i didn't shed any tears.

maybe it's because before it happened, i prayed as hard as i could to prevent it...

but when it did happen, i realized that i shouldn't cry because it's over.

i should smile because it happened.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

i never expected to love someone like this.

hopefully i'll be able to fall in love with someone again.

someone who'll help me pick up the pieces of myself that i've left behind.

TO YI ZHONG. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE YOU GAVE ME. IT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN LONG BUT IT CREATED A LASTING MEMORY IN ME. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

i'll still continue to love him for now because even if he doesn't feel the same way,

i just want to love him.

it's so cool coz when i was smiling at myself, remembering the times we had, i remembered the song yesterday from Moulin Rouge.

Never knew, I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more

Listen to my heart can you hear it sing
Tellin' me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you, until the end of time

Come what may, Come what may
I will love you, until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide

But I love you, I love you
Til the end of time, Until the end of time

Come what may, Come what may
I will love you, until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you , I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may, Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

so i guess that's kinda my song to him. at the moment.

ok i may not love him till i die.

but hey. we'll see.

i'm really happy i had him.

he was so nice and sweet.

he was the best boyfriend i've ever had.

and it might be hard but i'll get over him someday and he, the same.

but we'll think back and realize that for once in our lives, we completed each other.

*sigh* i'm gonna miss him, that fact i cannot lie.

but there's no point getting hung up over him.

i'll heal in my own pace.

he's not the only fish in the sea. but he is special.

SO THANKS. for letting me go and for healing my wounds with your love.

we did the right thing.

if we didn't do it today, we would've only hurt each other more.

TODAY'S THE DAY WHEN ALL DREAMING ENDS...

*sigh*

it hurts...

looking at his photo hurts...

knowing he meant alot to me...

yet not knowing how much i mean to him...

knowing that we're together but nothing else would progress...

i love him so much...

that it hurts...

i ask myself what i've done wrong to deserve this.

all i did was love and wished to be loved in return...

yet still there's this suffocating silence between us that engulfs me in its ebony depths that i don't know where i am anymore...

who knew that the sound your life made as it disentegrated was total silence?

i don't know what i mean to anybody anymore...

lies. everything was a lie.

i lied to myself all the time. making excuses for my mistakes and everybody else's...

just to not hurt anybody else... and me...

i plastered a smile on my face, playing a perfect facade to not let anyone see how much i wanted to break.

it's always about me. i'm such a selfish person thinking about my needs, my wants, everything.

maybe that's what i've done wrong...

i ask myself if God would ever forgive me, everybody, for all the wrong i've, we've, done...

but then i realised...

God left this place a long time ago...

i don't know what to believe in anymore...

he doesn't love me...

he never did...

he never will...

at least that's what the voices around me says...

that's what i've been hearing alot from everybody who knows.

i don't know who to believe.

i tell myself it's not true but hey, i don't know the truth myself

why pretend?

why build me up just to break me down?

was it worth everybody's time to fuck up my life?

i wish he'd tell me it's not true.

that he'd look me in the eye and say "it's alright... don't cry. don't believe what they say. listen to me, hear these words: i will always love you."

somebody wake me up from this nightmare i just can't wake up from.

haaaa!!

FINALLY!! MY ONLY CHANCE TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE DEEPLY AFTER A WEEK OF NON-STOP HOMEWORK!!

these past few days have been so uber hectic.

it's like a-maths hw here, e-maths hw there, bio, chem, physics, and humanities in one day...

WTF. how's a person supposed to breathe like this?

everybody's gonna crack up soon.

well yesterday was pretty much the same as the days that have gone by.

no talking whatsoever with him...

gave him a pressie though coz monthsary...

hehe...

so blah...

i shalt not dwell on that topic too much coz everytime i remember it, it just makes me a tad bit disappointed... *just a tad bit*

been seriously jealous of alot of pairs that i know.

i know that it's bad but i finally got taken over my the green-eyed monster.

jealous of shanice and daron, poch and benson, wei jian and christine...

they're so lovey-dovey and all that crap...

personally speaking, i'm not really a fan of all those things.

but hey, a small amount won't hurt right??

anyway, i won't blame him or anything because he's done nothing wrong.

he's just very very busy.

i'm busy too.

we're just a bit shy with each other in school that's all.

right?

*sigh* MOVING ON!!

seriously hate choir...

so irritating...

after school i still have to go for cca, then when can i do my homework?!

by the time i arrive home, it's already 7.30.

it's so frustrating.

BLEH!

going through, as what holly would say, my mid-life crisis!

so irritating.

shoutout: STUPID STRESS! STUPID PROBLEMS!!!

well today was a quite a red-letter day.

me, azhar and samantha and nicklaus played taiti during recess and lunch and it was so freakin fun man!!!

so yeah blabetty blah.

didn't see much of him today.

haven't seen him much for the past few days.

haven't talked to him in a long time...

i saw him doing something very funny a while ago. *well it's funny for me*

it was our ss lesson then 4n1 went out of their class then he walked towards the staircase near the boys' toilet.

then as he was passing by, he peeked inside my class like he was looking for something...

i was looking at him so i found it cute that he was doing that.

i don't know what he was looking for though.

hehehe...

i also saw him falling asleep during assembly.

SO CUTE MAN!!

hehehehe...

yes, i still love and appreciate him with all my heart.

it's ok if he doesn't love me anymore. *let's hope he still does!!!*

but i'm happy that i have him with me now...

i'm happy just to be able to love him as much as i am doing now...

woooooo.

mushy moment.

OH YEAH!

i saw that friggin kelvin kang today in school...

i saw syafiq, ronald, nigel, justus, and steven coz they were getting their o-level results back.

i couldn't control my laughter coz they all had such funky hair!!!

it was super funny.

dotssss....

oh yeah this happened during ss:

MS KONG: ok? i'll change on of my periods with mr tan so that you won't have to see me for two hours.
ME: aiyah. you better lah. yours is two hours only. his is three hours eh!
MS KONG: *laughs* yeah, i heard he has you for like 1/3 of your subjects? fun what.
ME: hahaha! like that damn shiok ah?!

kekekekeke...

it sucks to see mr tan everyday.

he bullies me.

I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU MR TAN THAT I WILL PASS MY O-LEVELS!!!!

bleh!

evil man...

word of the day: PURGATORY- any condition or place of temporary punishment, suffering, expiation, or the like.

hehehe... btw. CONGRATS TO THE PEOPLE WHO PASSED THEIR O-LEVELS!!

shoutout: MR TAN IS EVIL! anyhow bully me.

well today was another boring day.

woke up at around 8.30...

walked aimlessly around the house for about 5 minutes then went back to my room.

then i sat on my bed and asked myself if i'm gonna go to youth today.

then i decided not to. *not like anybody cares*

so yeah fell asleep again then woke up for second service.

so blah betty blah blah.

after church, went back home with mommy.

then ate lunch in mommy's room while i did my maths homework and watched tv.

then more blahs.

so yeah.

now blogging.

*sigh*

i'm beginning to start hating weekends again coz THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO MAN.

it's like i'm roting in my own house...

*looong sigh*

APOLOGIES FOR MY LAST POST.

i was abit emo-ish and paranoid yesterday coz it's that stupid time of the month again so yeah.

LET'S BLAME IT ON HORMONES.

so yeah. apologies.

i was a bit peckish yesterday.

i am upset, i guess, so hormones kinda amplified the upset-ness blah

SO APOLOGIES.

*sigh*

didn't talk to anybody other than my mom today.

jeez...

word of the day: MAWKISH- characterized by sickening sentimentality.

*sigh* just so you know. i'm tired at looking at your picture all the time...

i wish that you were here with me.

wish i can talk to you again.

shoutout: LA-DA-DEE. LA-DA-DUM

If the feeling is gone
Please don't pretend
That you still love me

I can see it in your eyes
And it hurts to admit it.
I can tell that the feeling is gone

All I ask is just a little honesty
Though I know that you're not coming back to me
You know I'd do anything to make you stay
But I just have to let you go if the feeling is gone

There's some sadness in your smile
Though I try to conceal it
I can tell that your feeling is gone

All I ask is just a little honesty
Though I know that you're not coming back to me
You know that I'd do anything to make you stay
But I just have to let you go if the feeling is gone...



*sigh*

he never replied to a single sms that i sent him

it sucks but for some reason i can't seem to stop crying...

it sucks but i can't seem to stop looking at his photo.

i miss him alot but i'm really starting to think he's avoiding me

being paranoid i know...

but i can't help it.

he never replies to my messages,

he never talks to me in school,

he won't even look me in the eye...

i've been hearing alot of stuff about me and him nowadays.

like he's fed up with me or something.

ike he's embarrassed or he's not happy anymore.

is that so?

have i been playing a fool all along?

holding on to something when it wasn't even there?

i just wish he'd show me a sign that he still cares...

i don't trust myself anymore with these kind of things and decisions.

I LOVE YOU. DO YOU?

woo! just finished bathing so i feel really really refreshed.

LOLLER

*sigh*

i miss you...

i miss your smile...

i miss talking to you...

i miss hearing my name from your lips...

i miss the way i'd wake up in the morning knowing that there's someone out there who loves me.

i miss the way my phone rings every now and then...

i miss the way my phone rings with your ringtone...

i miss spending time with you...

i miss the way i'd always be thinking about you, wonderin if you're doing the same.

i miss the way you'd hold my hand, making me aware how small my presence is...

i miss the way i'd think that all the burdens of the world have been put upon me but with you i'd have the strength to carry them all.

i used to think that maybe, just maybe i'd be able to smile again with you here... i miss that.

i miss your voice...

i miss talking to you in the middle of the night...

i miss the way we'd stay awake for each other just for the sake of being together...

i miss the feeling of being important...

i miss the feeling of being with you...

i miss you.

today was an ok ok day to sum it all up.

OH YEAH! I HAVE MY NEW TIMETABLE NOW AND EVERY TUESDAY I HAVE A-MATHS, E-MATHS, GEOG, PHYSICS, BIOLOGY AND CHEMISTRY!!!

wtf!!!! in just one day i have 3 sciences!!!!

ok blah.

today was the sec 1 orientation so must stay back in school i guess...

we pretty much screwed up our second song coz we couldn't hear the music.

well. my voice pretty much died...

i could hardly speak the whole day.

so what else is there to say?

i tripped alot of times today.

good thing i didn't have any of those head dive blah thingy. dunnoe what it's called.

hhhhmmm...

oh yeah!

today was poch and benson's monthsary.

then we sent poch back home then they were so adorable!!!

they were like holding hands tightly it was so cute!!!

then they hugged and such...

*long sigh* i was so jealous man...

haven't talked to him in a while.

the other day my mom put out all her frustrations on me so everything flew.

my bag, books, everything.

before i knew it even the computer was thrown to my head.

whole body aching like fuck now.

got alot of bruises actually.

hehe.. won't be wearing any sleeveless shirts for a while.

*sigh* so yeah. smsed people just to get over the pain.

fortunately kai xiang replyed and comforted me.

SO THANKS.

wtfh... the mtv's playing Built to Last by melee...

stupid love song.

*sigh* i still love him alot nothing will change that.

i guess i'm doing just alot of wishful thinking.

nothing will happen anyway right?

CHEERS TO TEENAGE ROMANCE AND NOT KNOWING WHY IT HURTS LIKE HELL.

*long long sigh*

haha.. i just remembered something funny.

i was emoing in the bus when i went home then i wanted to talk to poch but then the song i was listening to fitted the mood i was feeling at the moment.

so i was emoing somemore...

then before i knew it I FELL ASLEEP.

hehehheehhehe...

emoing is a tiring job.

LOL!

i hope he'd call me sometimes...

but hey people get busy... that's understandable...

i just wish.... *sigh* nevermind.

he's already avoiding me in school.

i don't want to be further away from him now.

shoutout: DAUNT- cause to lose courage.

wishing that my weekend will be something i can look forward to.

i'm tired of posting emo-ish posts.

shoutout: SHE'S SCARED TO LET ANYONE IN BECAUSE EVERYONE THAT SAID," I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE" LEFT.

well, finally arrived home. JUST.

choir ended at 5 but i left school at 6 coz mrs ho asked the choir committee to stay back.

NO CHOICE. must stay back.

so blah blah blah.

the trip home wasn't that fantastic as well.

i waited for bus 10 for like 35 minutes.

since i didn't have anything to do, i decided to do my a-maths homework.

THE PLUS SIDE IS NOW, I'M DONE WITH MY A-MATHS HW.

in the bus i sat beside this pervo guy.

once again, NO CHOICE, BUS WAS CROWDED.

he kept looking at me while i was glancing through my a-maths.

then i suddenly felt something coming up my thigh.

then when i went to look, WTF!!! HE WAS GROPING ME MAN!

i would've punched him then and there if only i was feeling well.

so i changed to another seat.

blah blah blah. horrible horrible people in the buses.

i just realized that everytime i ride a bus, i always seem to encounter a pervert.

bleh.

i can' t really tell anybody that now can i?

*sigh* life seriously sucks man.

even in school there's this guy who for some reason keeps smsing me asking me to do pervo stuff with him...

WTF LAH!!!

actually i know the guy so i talked to him but he just got angry with me in turn

whatever. don't care.

*sigh* seriously sucks.

i wrote a letter to him like 2 days ago.

i didn't really think i was going to give it to him but for some reason it still ended up in his hands yesterday.

blah. not that it had any effect whatsoever.

word of the day: CANDOR- honesty

shoutout: SHE WAITS FOR HIM TO TELL HER "I LOVE YOU" BUT INSTEAD HE SAID "I DON'T WANT TO LIE"

haven't updated for quite a while.

still in school now because of choir practice.

life has been a bore.























well the only thing that i'm happy about is that i'm improving in my a-maths.

bleh.

today pretty much sucked as well i guess.

got scolded my mrs koh for not bringing my practical book, had sore throat, everybody around
seem to be ignoring me...

*sigh* well i guess i'll go back to choir prac now and update again later.

BTW! to all the blogreaders out there *as if anybody reads my blog* sorry for being so depressed all the time.

THAT GIRL♣

NAME: Jemimah
Age: 19-ish
Email: ask and it shall be given
popped out of my mom on the 12th of August.
don't like my blog? JUST PRESS CLOSE.
i'll tell you what you want to know about me so long as you don't spam, or do anything disrespectful... >< Does Provillus Work?
.

DESIRES♣

HIM
new lappy
cash~!
Gibson Les Paul guitar
new amps

BLAHS♣

THE JUDGES♣

CHAI CHEEIANS.
GuanNan
Eric
Jack
Jody
YongSu
Heniwennie
Pengsiew
CCSS Choir
CCSS Band
CCSS InfoComm Club
Ms Kong
Sally
HuiSi
Aron
Benson
Glam
Nigel Chua
KC.
Niki the mr lokey lover
Isabella
CHURCH SPECIES!
Rachel Dardar
Sweetie pie
GraceY
Michelle.B2
Nick
Setho
Jervis
Hui Xian
Fiona Jie
Lynn
Cutie pie
ETC.
DollMe
De.B.Label
Alicia's Blogshop
Sinyi's Blogshop

MEMOIRS♣

April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
November 2011