Wednesday, September 24, 2008 ~ 9:28 PM
my sweetest mistake.
warning: loads of emo on the way..this day was quite crappy...
i didn't know what to do, my body ached.. and dammit...
i woke up on the floor...blah...
i had a terrible headache the whole day...
crap...
i don't know what to do anymore...
all i think about is him and
why we can never be again...for some reason i always look at him even though i didn't want to...
i just felt myself looking at my right, as if there was something special there...
i know i shouldn't feel this way...
after all the pain i've felt for the past 2 years...
i thought i've already moved on when in fact,
i'm stuck in tar while everybody is flowing along with the water...i don't know why i am this way...
i hate myself for liking alot of guys and being together with them when i fact my heart and feelings has always been his...
i thought i've let go of him and that i didn't feel anything but friendship for him...
but it hurts whenever he says that she is cute and that he will never like me...
dammit... why can't i let him go?
looking at his photos made me remember how much feeling and happiness i felt just by loving him...
*sigh* no.. this isn't love... this is just infatuation as everyone might say...
i've always liked guys but i've never truly loved them...
then what exactly is love?
haaaa... i don't know myself anymore....
i'm becoming someone i'm not just to make others happy...will i ever be able to find myself again??
