well today was horrible plus lotsa fun *illogical right?!*

today was teacher's day and aces day.

me and danah took photos and videos of the lower sec and uper sec people...

omg.. saw _____ dancing!!!!!!!!!!wooooooO!!!

danah was so happy with justus... loller. wish you the best sayang.

anyway, during recess me adn danah were singing at the mic stands. *yes the mike stands there weren't any mics yet. sorry wei kiat!!!* actually we were really just blurting out notes.. lol

then we went to the lab to take some extra batteries but ended up walking towards memory lane.

we saw a lot of people's photos like this sec 4's batch's sec1 orientation *omg!!! azmi, fariz and STEVEN were so round during sec 1!!!! me and danah couldn't control our laughter* and etc...

we saw this one photo of ernnie where he looked so ecstatic then another photo suddenly become so serious.. -_____-

then go back hall to help with the treacher's day shit.

then p.a. got problem but i'm not blaming anybody except ms lim *she suddenly changed the setup of the whole program...* coz it's not out fault *fuck you to all those people who keep blaming us*

i was so irritated by the end of the day...

was irritated with ____ and _____!!

irritating!!!

one keeps talking back to me then one does nothing but take useless shots..

wth...

anyway, thanks holly for assuring me that as long as i take proper photos it's ok...

then i got scolded for no reason because of ____ and _____...

like what the hell ah!!!

blah... had lesson but it ended quite fast...

oh yeah i saw _____ in his bball jersey.... so cute man...

found out that his chinese surname is jiang... lol... jiang zhi guang.. me, teng zhi man... our "zhi" is the same... loller... that's as close as we can get nowadays...

blah...

this month has been totally lovefest for me...

alot of people have been confessing to me.. wth? they all caught the bug isit?

like _____of 3n3, _____ of 3n1, _______ of 2ea....

oooooooohhhh....

loller...

whatever...

but hey still quite fun...

me danah and heni looked at some photos again and saw a lot of wyn's blur photos *stupid sotong*

there were also photos of ah meng *aron* and other people...

wahhh... so funny...

we kept laughing and laughing

then i complain non-stop to shahrie and bullied frankie...

i know i'm a bitch you don't to fuckin tell me

just came home from Tampines Mall...

watched Wall-E...

the movie was so cute and so funny...

want to watch the jap movie with keisuke koide... *he looks like lex from certain angles...*

shoutout of the day: LIFE SUCKS

somehow people can't seem to let go of grudges that they have on other people....

regardless of how much you apologize, you will never be forgiven...

life truly is a facade for everybody...

putting on masks to hide their true feelings and attitudes...

i'm reading "the tenth circle" again...

love jodi picoult man...

the story's quite confusing...

so i'm reading it again...

beginning to understand the concept of the whole friggin book...

*sigh*

it's very hard to let gooo...

yes this post is all about letting go...

some cannot let go of their pain and anguish...

some people cannot let go of memories that will forever be carved in their minds...

blah... i don't know what the freakin hell am i talking about actually...

bleh..

*sigh* more random stuff on the way...

what's my life all about....

LOVE. PAIN. LUST. ANGUISH. TEARS. DEATH

that's pretty much it..

i want to be able to love someone who'll love me back the same way...

impossible right?

well, for me it is...

i just realized something...

everybody has two faces: some of us just did a better job of hiding it than others...

haaaa... life's all about lies...

just to cover up our mistakes and soon we find ourselves entangled in our own lies...

unable to get out... unable to know which one is real and reality...

blah... seriously i don't know what the fuck am i talking about...

thought of the day: change is a funny thing. we never are quite sure what we are becoming or even why. then one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are, and how we got that way. only one thing about change remains constant...
it is ALWAYS painful.

i just realized something about myself...

i'm a girl who loves reading shoujo manga...

*omg... i'm an otaku*

i'm waiting for the perfect prince to come and lift me off my feet...

*sigh* i'm a sucker for love...

there's no such things as happy endings and boys telling me that they'll protect me...

i'm living in my own fairytale...

where i'm happy and loved...

*sigh* it must be nice being a manga character...

you always seem to have a happy ending...

being with the one you love...

where in reality...

it's all a lie...

nobody will ever love me...

the way a hero loves his princess...

i can never say that the hatred and loneliness in my heart...

has been gradually dissolved by the one i love...

i'll just continue on smiling even though it hurts...

i'll still smile when all i want to do is to shed my tears...

seeing the one i love...

with the person that is not me...

is like stabbing a sharp knife through my heart...

hurting painful sadness...

haha... guys are so unfair...

just by smiling once they make you feel like forgiving them for everything...

there will be a time...

when this heart-wrenching pain will flow away together with the time all at once...

maybe one day...

i'll be able to learn how to let go...

*sigh* this is possibly the most depressing post i've written...

i'm all about heartbreaks i guess...

even though i'm not loved,

just like the idiot that i am, i'll keep loving him dearly...

for me, he's an irreplacable existence in my life...

the happiness of loving and the feeling of sorrow...

he taught me these...

he'll always be in the special place of my heart...

shoutout of the day: i'll wait for you... but i can't wait forever...

oh yeah. i forgot to say a while ago...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYN!!!

blah... just downloaded Rescue Me by Hawthorne Heights.

love that band man. *JT WOODRUFF I LOVE YOU!*

btw... may Casey rest in peace *prays for Casey's spirit*

blah.. the song is so nice man!!!

but quite sad coz HH is not a screamo band anymore...

but anyway, it's very cold

i kinda caught a cold walking underneath the rain *dumb right? i know*

well, nothing much to report now coz nothing happened.

i was playing a game in the lab awhile ago....

from 2-4 pm.

wth. it's so obvious that i have absolutely no life man.

blah. you don't need to rub it in my face that i'm such a loser.

i accidentally called eric nitipat the other day.

wth... i need to get him outta my head.

blahhh... it's gonna be my brother's birthday tomorrow and 2 of my friends...

i'm bringing my bro at the japanese school to go for a festival.

hahaha...

quite thrilled.

blah...

shoutout of the day: i need you more right now than i ever did.

omg... yesterday was probably the most wackiest day i've had this month...

THANKS TO DANAH LEE HUI YANG!!!! *yes i know her full name.*

blah...

it's because danah told ronald that there was somebody from our class who like kelvin kang. and then she pointed to me when ronald asked.

then ronnie said, "oh jemimah ah! eh eh kelvin! jemimah like you!"

then danah said that kk shut up.

"you tell her that kelvin feels that way too!"

btw, i was talking to sin yi when all of this was occuring

then after classes, me and danah were on our way up the stairs and it happened that 4ea was going down.

we passed by kk and you know what danah did?! she tsaid, "eh kelvin! your LOVER eh!!!"

of course ronnie heard it and he kept calling me, " Jemimah Kang" wtfh!!!

actually i don't know whether i should be happy or not.

i will admit to the fact that i had a long-term crush on kk BEFORE, when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

anyway it was totally embarrassing.

and then today danah did it again.

when we were going to the hall we kinda bumped into 4ea.

then danah said, "eh kelvin! Jemimah Kang eh!!!"

wth... it's so fucking awkward now.

even if i've never talked to him before, at least we still looked at each other.

but now he won't even look at me.

it's sooooo... IRRITATING!!

grr... danah... I WILL TAKE MY REVENGE!!!!

stupid small girl...

i'll kill you at the jap festival tomorrow!!

better be ready shortie!!

oh yeah. JEFF LEFT ALR..

soo sad. my little baby boy has gone off and took flight on his own..

sooooooo sad...

blah.

this is so crappy man.

i'm happy yet disturbed.

in a soap bubble...

lightly floating towards infinity...

that is where i would like to be...

so i wouldn't be able to hear anything...

so i wouldn't be bound to hear anything...

to lose myself into oblivion and to avoid regretting a fading past...

that which, with all my being, i'd like to be my present and my future...

it would be funny if it didn't hurt so much, don't you think?

remembering the past whenever you talked t me and showed me that you cared...

to think that i, a girl who almost got everything i wanted, would dream of losing myself in nothingness...

here i am, typing the most difficult post i've ever had to do...

not knowing if i'd have the courage to post it.

that is exactly what i'm missing: courage.

do you remember our first encounter in speech and drama class?

there was so much sweetness in your eyes and your smile...

you told me, "i think i love you already"...

i would like to hear you say thhose words again with the same certainty...

if only...

for the last time...

i could lose myself in the warmth of your embrace...
---------

maybe the people who have been with me since last year or sec 1 will know who this person is...

hahaha... i was reading some of my diaries and i came to two notes, filled with, what now seems to be nonesense...

it was all about my love for a certain person...

i loved him for 1 year, and 10 months...

cruel right?

oh... the cruel, unforgiving agony of loving somebody who can never be yours...

well, the truth hurts and the truth was that he could never be mine.

i'm happy about my position in his life now.

safe within the borders of my wall...

i can never fall in love...

shoutout: sometimes it's better to be alone... that way nobody can hurt you....

i'm all about weird dreams this week...

omg... if yuki read my blog she'd kill me...

THIS WEIRD DREAM IS ABOUT ARON...

dreamt that a couple of us went to some country for some activity (a looooonngggg activity) and we stayed at some rad hotel...

then my cousins were also there and they were TOTALLY diggin aron...

of course aron wasn't interested.

in order for my cousins to stop houding him, we decided we'll pretend that we're together.

so we started hanging out and stuff and all that time we've been spending together made me fall for him..

so he confessed to me, saying that he liked me as well.

eventually we started going out and we just started dating and stuff...

he'd go to my "room" most of the time then just leave me with the air between me and the door.

but then things just started stirring up and somebody killed aron *sorry boy!!!! me and my wild imagination*

of course i cried...

THE END!

reallly weird dream...

wonder what that meant?

that i LIKE aron? eeewww.. hope not.

he's cute but i've decided that i will not go out with guys who are younger than me.

haaa... i seriously need to find somebody to cuddle with...

oh yeahhhh!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMIE!!!!! yay!!! you're 15!!!!

hohohoho... with you all the best darling!!!

remember that i'm always here beside you.

woot!!!

anyway... i'm totally diggin all those olympic athletes *the males*

they're soooooooo H.O.T!!!

loller...

anyway hope that i won't be dreaming about aron again...

shoutout of the day!!! save me from myself ... and i shall hold you... in my heart...

I'd rather close my eyes and not see anything... rather than have them opened and see my life fall apart before my eyes...

i'm not really that too sad now am i?

LOL

anyway, these past few days have been quite fun i guess...

oh yeah....

i just recieved my bio test and omg... i had 20/25!!!!

yay!!!!

maybe studying does help... hohohoho...

oh yeah...

i had this very weird dream abt muffin last night...

i dreamt that for some effing reason i went inside this room...

in the room the was 2 tables- one with a lot of presents and a cake and one with people like holly, grace, sammie, my relatives and at the end of the table was muffin wearing a white tux. *if i can remember his tux looked like one of those "la corda d' oro" suits... the music side*

then i heard myself say "mom, i told you not to hold a party yet coz the wedding's not yet set!!!"

i wondered who i was getting married to... then i looked at myself and saw that i was wearing some kind of cocktail dress *blah... cough! cough!*

then i went over to see the presents and sat at the floor *dunnoe why... maybe the table was full?*

then holly came up to me and said, "eh... congratulations on getting married!"

"i'm not yet married!!!! we haven't set the date yet!" then i hid underneath the table....

the muffin stood up from his seat and ripped something from his suit and looked really pissed

"eh.. why are you so pissed? you're getting married!" said holly

he scowled and snarled, "i'm not getting married because i hate her"

"who?"

then his shoes pointed at me.

omg... is that like some kind of revelation that muffin hates me?

maybe that's why he hasn't been talkin to me in a while...

omg... johnnie just came in the lab.. lookin for shahrie and jeff...

loller...

hearing people talk in mandarin is making me sleepy...

i'll go home in a while to sleep...

HOHOHOHOHO...

johnnie just made a LAME joke...

johnnie: what jun wei buy for you? helmet ah?
me: ha? helmet? for what?!
johnnie: coz he HELLboy and you HELLgirl so HELmet la!

omg johnnie... you're so LAme... no wonder you've got white hair...

lol..

me and yuki!!!!

i know it looks disgusting but it's really nice!!!
shiitake mushrooms!!!!
my food!!! hohoho... turkey set!!!
the other three's food!!!! chicken set!!

omg... it's nitipat's brain.... loller... sorry darling!!!! *eeeeeewwww*

happy birthday nick!

blahhh...

this week has just been so damn infuriating..

yesterday garce told me that there has been a rumor spreading out to the sec 3 level.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH WYN!!!!

what the hell is that?!

he's just my friend and i haven't even seen him since february 14 when he came to school to give mrs tan chocolates!!!!

what the hell...

then today during our maths test my damn calculator suddenly won't on and i had no way of calculating all my equations!!!!

what the crap!!!

i did all my equations halfway..

i did the solutions but no answers...

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dammit...

this day just can't possbly get any worse...

maybe this is God's way of saying that i don't deserve a break in life...

that i must always be miserable...

i know i'm very mean in saying this or that it's wrong to say this at all but...

i'm losing faith...

i can't hold on anymore...

sometimes i'm even scared that i'd just jump down a building or stab myself with a knife or something...

crap...

i don't know what to do...

every road i take seems to take me deeper and deeper to my mistakes...

i just don't know what to do...

show me the way so that i may have the will to go on...

THAT GIRL♣

NAME: Jemimah
Age: 19-ish
Email: ask and it shall be given
popped out of my mom on the 12th of August.
don't like my blog? JUST PRESS CLOSE.
i'll tell you what you want to know about me so long as you don't spam, or do anything disrespectful... >< Does Provillus Work?
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