Tuesday, June 24, 2008 ~ 6:24 PM
my sweetest mistake.
it's totally pointless the way you talk to someone but they won't reply back... you look so foolish in front of other people thinking that you're talking to yourself, that for a moment,
you begin to wonder whether that person is worth your time...i went back here in singapore like friday night...the first person i smsed was sammie *coz when i opened my phone, she was like the only person who bothered to welcome me back in singapore*after that i smsed nick but he didn't reply...but when he did reply he said "sorry. i was out watching movie"for a moment i was fine with it coz i knew that friday was his hangout day with his blah friends...so i was smsing sammie, leonard and muffin*oh muffin!!! i missed you so much!!! you were probably the only guy who welcomed me back here!!!*, wyn and aron.blah... the eric suddenly smsed me saying that he's angry at me for not telling him that i've returned home... *blah... why do i have to tell him? it's not like he won't see me on monday*so monday came quite fast and i was talking to sammie the whole day...we had a new sitting position so fortunately i sat between sammie and azhar...so i was quite fine then nick didn't talk to me the whole day... i was like thinking what the fuck did i do to him?and then grace told me some possibilities why he's angry at me but of course i made my point...- she said that maybe it's because of our 2nd month *what about it? as far as i know i left him a message in msn and even wrote in my blog!*-maybe it's because i didn't go online while i was overseas *the reason why i went overseas was to get away from everything here in singapore*then grace asked him again today and his answer: he was too lazy to talk to meomg... is that even a valdid reason?!?! what the...i was totally pissed off the whole day...finally why i was deejaying for the youth day blah, i told grace that i was done... i was tired of always being the one who's blamed, tired of being the one to say sorry, and lastly i'm tired of being angry...i'm just tired... i told her that i didn't want anything anymore... i was done...i also confided in aron *btw monkey, thank you so much for helping me in a lot of things!!! i fuckin owe you like big time man...*i just didn't want to keep pretending that he still loved me when it's so obvious that he's lost interest...i'm still holding on but i'm at the edge of a cliff already... if i keep holding on and nobody's there to save me* meaning he doesn't even care anymore* then i'd fall into a deeper hole... but if i stop all this facade, i may just be able to save myself from a disaster...*sigh* i don't really want to talk about it anymore...NEW TOPIC!!!!there has been quite a few people that i've enjoyed talking to for the past few days....-sammie *i'm with her every second in school*-grace *always with her*-nitipat *blah... for some odd reason he's fun to talk to nowadays*-wyn *i've been smsing him every chance i get*anyway sammie gave me an eeyore stuffed toy i named "jin jin"it's so cute that my mom wanted to buy one for herself!!!i guess it'll just be until here... i still nedd to do my maths homework... toodles!!!
