Friday, June 27, 2008 ~ 4:51 PM
my sweetest mistake.
well, zhi han and grace just left my house...
hahah... so fun!!!
i spent some time with my dear kids...
anyway we did nothing but have a stick in my house *provided by zhi zhi* and drink *heineken.. blah dunnoe how to spell*
me and sammie were bullying nitipat the whole week and the three of us were having lots of fun...
blah... nick's still not talking to me... if he doesn't want to talk to me then don't talk...
so anyway, i went out with grace and zhi han again...
omg... it's been so long since i last smoked...
it was so fun and with every puff i felt that there was a piece of my depression being puffed away with it...
blah... tomorrow i'll be going out with sammie, troy and grace...
kekeke...
to keep all my problems away...
the other day i kind of confided in wyn about my problems...
being the friend that he is, he told me that i shouldn't worry so much...
that if nick really did love me, he'd tell me what he's feeling instead of keeping it all to himself...
now that i've recalled him saying those words, i pondered for about a few moments...
he doesn't wasnt to talk to me, i respected his decision and kept my distance from him...
but now, my decision is clear...
i don't want... anymore....
once again, i'm done...
blah... i'll be typing in my language so noone will know what i'm saying... *to grace, if ever you read this, don't you dare translate it to anybody...
satin2 lng to...hindi ko na kayang magpangap na mahal niya pa ko... ayaw niya kong kauspin so hindi ko xa kinausap... pero pagtinry nia qng kausapin, hindi na ko magsasalita dahil gusto kong maramdamn nia ung sakit na binigay nia sakin... gusto kong maramdaman nia ung sakit na naramdaman ko nung sinabi nia na ayaw nia kong kausapin dahil tinatamad xa...AYOKO NA!!!! tapos na ko sa lahat....ok i've let all my anger out already....but i haven't cooled down yet...i'm still in a state of mind where all i can feel in total numbness...blah... i'm just gonna end everything with one small bang...
